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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
(Sung to the tune of Stairway to Heaven by Led Zepplin With appologies to all Led Zepplin fans)

Theres a Ozmont whos sure
All that glitters is gold
And he’s building a throne for Kevin.
When he gets there he knows
If the stores are all closed
With a word he can get plumbing he came for.
Ooh, ooh, and he’s buying a throne for Kevin.

There’s a sign on the wall
But he wants to be sure
cause you know sometimes thrones have two uses.
In a tree by the brook
Theres a songbird who sings,
Sometimes all of Ozmonts bowels are misgiven.
Ooh, it makes Kevin wonder,
Ooh, it makes Kevin wonder.

Theres a feeling I get
When Ozmont look to the west,
And my spirit is crying for leaving.
In my thoughts I have seen
Rings of gas through the trees,
And the voices of those who standing looking.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it really makes me wonder.

And its whispered that soon
If Ozmont calls the tune
Then the piper will lead us to toilet paper.
And a new day will dawn
For those who stand long
And Ozmont will echo with laughter.

If there’s a bustle on your toilet brush
Don’t be alarmed now,
Its just Ozmont doing spring cleaning for his queen.
Yes, there are two paths you can go by
But if you have to go
There’s still time to change the road you’re on.
And it makes Ozmont wonder.

Your head is humming and it won’t go
In case you don’t know,
Ozmont calling you to join him,
Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow,
And did you know
Ozmont’s gas lies on the whispering wind.

And as Ozmont winds on down the road
His shadows taller than his soul.
There walks a Ozmont we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How his throne still turns to gold.
And if you listen very hard
The smell will come to you at last.
When all are one and one is all
To sink like a rock and not to roll.

I've been real nice to Ozmont lately and sometimes you just have to let the Devil out.

Premium Member
5,478 Posts
That song was waaaay tooo funny!!:p
(...At least it was in key)!

What brought all that on poor Kevin? Did he visit someone's house recently, and forget to light a match after he used the restroom?!

Take it easy on the hairspray Mark, you almost ended up like Joe Satriani.:lol:

Old School Dinosaur
2,130 Posts
Ok, Chris has gone over the edge, call the guys with the net and the rubber truck. I think workmens comp will pay for his stay at the funny farm. :tongue:
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