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Discussion Starter #21 (Edited)
In Seattle, The mayors mansion burned down, nearly took out the whole trailer park! the Library is gone too! dang shame...all two books are history and one wasn't even colored in yet!
 

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this is a good one! a little off color









A woman walked into a Lexus dealership to browse, and spotted the most beautiful, perfect "loaded" Lexus. She walked over to inspect it more closely.

As she bent forward to feel the fine leather upholstery, an unexpected
little burst of flatulence escaped her. Very embarrassed, she anxiously
looked around to see if anyone had noticed.

There, standing right behind her, was a salesman. With a pleasant smile he greeted her, "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?"

Trying to maintain an air of sophistication and acting as though nothing
had happened, she smiled back and asked, "Sir, what is the price of
this lovely vehicle?"

Still smiling pleasantly, he replied, "Madame, I'm very sorry to say
that if you farted just touching it, you're gonna sh#& when you hear
the price!"
 

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Two blondes living in Texas were sitting on a bench one evening looking at the moon and talking.

One blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther......Florida or the moon?"


The other blonde rolls her eyes and says "Helloooooooooooooooooooo......
can you see Florida from here?"
 

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A man appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates.
> >
> > "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter
asked.
> > "Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered. "Once, upon a> > trip to> > the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of> > high-testosterone bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I> > directed> > them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I> > approached the> > largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him on the> > head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw​
it
> > on the> > ground." I yelled, "Now, back off!! Or you'll answer to me!"> >> > St. Peter was impressed: "When did this happen?"> >> > "Just a couple of minutes ago."​
 

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Discussion Starter #28 (Edited)
HA! Now that was cool!! OH YEAH!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

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My son and I were talking the other evening. As usual, the conversation turned to girl "problems" (He's 14). After school, a couple of classmates came up to him, and one says, "Josephine (made up name) wants to know why you like her," and Josephine said "Yeah, I'm really icky." Trying to help him out, I asked him more about Josephine, and one of the thing he mentioned was her stockings. Knowing that poetry impresses the fairer sex, I made this one up on the spot:

She says she's ick,
but she's quite a pick.
I'd have to bet
On her fish net
They'd catch me real quick!

Quite wisely, he has declined to use it.
 

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Discussion Starter #30
Far out! :tongue:
 

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Two Texans were sitting on a bench one evening looking at the moon and talking.

One texan says to the other, "Which do you think is farther......Florida or the moon?"


The other texan rolls his eyes and says "Hell boy......
can you see Florida from here?"
 

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At the Parochial school one morning, Sister Mary was teaching her class. She turned to her students and said, "Class, it's time we started thinking about our futures. Has anyone thought of what they'd like to be when they grow up?"

Scotty raises his hand and replies, "I'd like to be an astronaut." Sister Mary commends his idea, "That's a very noble and heroic profession. Good for you Scotty! Anyone else?"

Little Madeline raises her hand. Sister Mary says, "Yes Madeline, what would you like to be when you grow up?"

Madeline brightly replies, "A prostitute." With that, Sister Mary faints dead away.

After a few moments, she come to and asks, "Madeline, what did you just say?"

Madeline repeats, "I said I want to be a prostitute when I grow up."

Sister Mary wipes her brow and says, "Oh Thank Heavens...for a moment there I thought you said protestant!" :D
 
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