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Discussion Starter #1
I decided that I needed a few days off and I realized that I ran out of
vacation time already. I figured the best way to get the Boss to send
me home was to act a little crazy. I figured he'd think I was burning
out and give me some time off.

I came in to work early the other day and began hanging upside down
from the ceiling. Just then one of my co-workers (she's blonde.....
it'll be important later) came in and asked me what I'm doing. "Shh," I
said, "I'm acting crazy to get a few days off. I'm a light bulb."

A second later the Boss walked by and asked me what I was doing.

"I'm a light bulb!", I exclaimed.

"You're going crazy!", he said, "Take a few days off."

With that, I jumped down and started walking out.

My co-worker started following me and the Boss asked where she was
going.

"I can't work in the dark!", she said.
 

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Oxidation Genius
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*starts looking for something on the ceiling that will support my weight....*
 

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Discussion Starter #10
John P. and a freind were at a Hobby shop when Johns friend falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head.

John starts to panic, then whips out his cell phone and calls 911.

He frantically blurts out to the operator, "O my gawd! Help! My friend just died. He's Dead! What can I do?"

The operator, trying to calm him says, "Take it easy. I can help. Just listen to me and follow my instructions. First, lets make sure he's dead."

There's a short pause, and then the operator hears a loud gun shot!!!

Then Mr. P. comes back on the line and says, "OK, now what?"


:p
 

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Ok, this one's kinda old but sci-fi related (and I always enjoyed it :devil: ).


Q: What do the startship Enterprise and a piece of toilet paper have in common?


A: They both fly around Uranus to wipe out Klingons!
 

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Discussion Starter #14
Alright Frets! You better wipe up that mess! :tongue:

Thanks all! anything to help get us through this Mortal Coil :jest:
 

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Good ones!!! Since were telling challenged blonde jokes here is one:

A very attractive blonde is pulled over by a police officer who is also a very attractive blonde. The officer asks the driver for some identification. The driver fumbles through her purse and pulls out her compact mirror and looks at it and says "oh here is my id". The officer takes a look in the compact mirror and exclaims "I'm sorry, if I knew you were a police officer I wouldn't have pulled you over!"

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are still missing :tongue:
-PJ
 

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Hey Fluke & Gray Primer! Finally, jokes I hadn't heard before! Thanks! :thumbsup:

Okay...this doctor's giving a guy a psychological evaluation. "I'm going to draw something on this sheet of paper, and you tell me the first thing that comes into your mind." The doctor draws a square, and asks his patient, "What does this make you think of?" The guy answers, "A room full of naked women."

Puzzled, the doctor draws a circle, then asks his patient, "Okay, what does this make you think of?" The guy answers, "A room full of naked women."

The doctor puts down his pen and says, "I think I see your problem. You're obsessed with sex."

His patient looks at him and replies, "Me?!? You're the one drawing dirty pictures!!!"
 

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Discussion Starter #18
HA! Those last two are pretty cool! :lol: :lol: :thumbsup:

Thanks guys!
 

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This one is definitely not for the youngsters out there. I'll give you a little space, so you can back out of the page!






























A blonde gets pulled over by a police officer, who tells her that she was speeding, going 15 miles over the limit. The blonde begins to cry.

The tearful young woman is beside herself. "Are you going to give me a ticket? Can't I talk you out of it? I just got pulled down a few miles down the road, and I'm very late for an important appointment."

The officer reaches for his zipper.

The blonde groans, "Oh, no! Not another Breathalyzer test!"
 

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Discussion Starter #20
:lol:

In Seattle when you get divorced your still considered Brother and Sister!
 
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