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Gary is calling me from above to post this

Okay many of you do not know DU like many of us who do.... So I wanted to share this post with you from him .... It brings laughter to me everytime I read it as I can picture him in the act of craziness..... Gary was such a goof ball of a man in life that he had you always on the edge of your seat when he posted.....

Okay you are now asking yourself what the heck am I talking about????

Well I was thumbing around in old archives and came across this funny incident that happend to DU back in 2006 .... Still makes me laugh through my tears... :(

Okay onto his post he wrote back in 2006

I hope you enjoy it as much I re-read it over and over



Okay Gary .... The stage is yours to make people laugh again ....




DU Down Under

My friends are fond of saying that my last words on this earth will be something akin to, "hey y'all, hold my beer and watch this!" Well, I have outdone myself once again. No doubt you will see this true story chronicled in a LifeTime movie in the near future. Here goes.

Last weekend I spied something at the Local Pawn shop that tickled my fancy. (Note: Keep in mind that my "fancy" is easily tickled. I had gone into the shop to pick up some milk yesterday and I bought a super ball in the checkout line-50 cents. What a bargain! It tickled my fancy-still does. That thing bounces soooooo high, and it has provided me with hours of entertainment. It just doesn't get any better than that, now does it?) I'm so easily distracted. That dang super ball is so much fun.

So what were we talking about? Oh yeah, I bought something really cool at my local Pawn shop last Saturday. The occasion was my 50th birthday and I was looking for a little something extra cool. What I came across was a 100,000 volt, pocket/purse sized Tazer gun with a clip. For those of you who are not familiar with this product, it is a less-than-lethal stun gun with two metal prongs designed to incapacitate an assailant with a shock of high voltage, low amperage electricity while you flee to safety. The effects are supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, but allowing you adequate time to retreat to safety. You simply jab the prongs into your 250 Ib. tattooed assailant, push the button, and it will render him a slobbering, goggle eyed, muscle twitching, whimpering, pencil neck geek. If you've never seen one of these things in action, then you're truly missing out-way too cool!

Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was so disappointed. Upon reading the directions (we don't need no stinkin' directions), I found much to my chagrin that this particular model would not create an arch between the prongs. How disappointing! I do love fire for effect. I learned that if I pushed the button, however, and pressed it against a metal surface that I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs that I was so looking forward to. I did so. Awesome!!! Sparks, a blue arch of electricity, and a loud pop!!! Yipeeeeee . . I'm easily amused.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries, etc., etc.

There I sat in my recliner, my dog Molly looking on intently (trusting little soul), reading the directions (that would be me, not Molly), and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh and blood target. I must admit I thought about zapping Molly for a fraction of a second and thought better of it. She is such a sweet doggy, after all.

But, if I was going to use this thing to protect myself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

Was I wrong to think that? Seemed reasonable to me at the time . So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, Tazer in another. The directions said that a one second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a loss of bodily control; a three second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. All the while I'm looking at this little device (measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference, pretty cute really, and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to myself, "no bloody way!" Bloody way-trust me, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.

Those of you who know me well have got a pretty good idea of what followed. I'm sitting there alone, Molly looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it daddy," reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny 'ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad (sound, rational thinking under the circumstances, wouldn't you agree?). I decided to give myself a one second burst just for the hell of it. (Note: You know, a bad decision is like hindsight-always twenty-twenty. It is so obvious that it was a bad decision after the fact, even though it seemed so right at the time. Don't ya hate that?) I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and Holy F****** S***! DAMN!!!

I'm pretty sure that Jessie Ventura ran in through the front door, picked me up out of that recliner, then body slammed me on the carpet over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, nipples on fire, T******** nowhere to be found, soaking wet, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position. Molly was standing over me making whimpering sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do it again daddy, do it again!" (Note: If you ever feel compelled to mug yourself with a Tazer, one note of caution. There is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself. You're not going to let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. Then, if you're lucky, you won't lodge one of the prongs 1/4" deep in your thigh like yours truly.)

SON-OF-A-B**CH that hurt! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at this point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they get there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, as my bottom lip weighed 88 Ibs. +/- an ounce or two, I'm pretty sure. By the way, has anyone seen my T********? I think they ran away. I'm offering a reward. They're round, rather large, kinda hairy, and handsome if I must say so myself. Miss 'em . . sure would like to get 'em back.

DU
 

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That is just beyond description awesome, i sense a kinship in our thought processes, how do you know it really works?
 

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man that made me laugh my rear off....so hilarious when someone thinks a stun gun that small with that little juice can do little harm...man i actually pictured this story in my mind except the person was my dad as he does stupid stuff like that lol...great story. would have liked to chat with him seems like a cool guy though...crazy how when someone goes that you knew online and you never met face to face can hurt bad....ive went through it before...at least we know he is more free then the rest of us now.
 

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I have a few I can tell about Liv as well :tongue:

Oh Hi liv :wave: :lol:


Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh how I would love to hear them. I will tell you this of all the people I met at Super Con Liv was the most memorable. And yes all Liv knows what he is talking about when it comes to die cast.
 

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I haven't laughed that had in a long time and I know exactly where he was coming from. If I invested money on something, I would like to make sure it worked, That could have been about any one of us that lives for the moment and is a little short sided about to tomorrow. Gary may you rest in piece, and look and laugh at all of us that would have done the same thing. You just had a gift of sharing it. Hope you have every casting you ever wanted where you are at.
 

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Discussion Starter #13

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Thanks Liv for telling that story of DU. I laughed so hard that it brought tears to my eyes. He is one character that will be truely missed.
 
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