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Discussion Starter #1
Since we were discussing how womens brains work,this is good for the guys... Ready to sign up for the Fall Classes?!

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FALL CLASSES FOR MEN
AT THE
LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY: Monday, August 21, 2006
NOTE:DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Class 1How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2The Toilet Paper Roll Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?
Group Practice.Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 h ours.< BR>
Class 4Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5After Dinner Dishes Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM

Class 6Loss Of Identity Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7Learning How To Find Things Starting With Looking In The Right Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8Health Watch Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost Real Life Testimonials.Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Class 10Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 11Learning to Live Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Class 12How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours ! beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 13How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.< BR>Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14The Stove/Oven What It Is and How It Is Used.Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses,
diplomas will be issued
to the survivors.

 

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Would it be possible for my wife to sign up for classes #7,10,11,13,& 14 if she promises to curse, spit, burp, & scratch herself while bitching how she rather be watching paint dry? :lol:

BTW, I'm playing those as lottery #s tonight.
JOhn
:wave: :wave: :wave: :wave: :wave:
 

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Shouldn't there have been another course on ground rules for who always wins arguments or your sleeping on the couch until you come to your senses?
 

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stupidsquirrels said:
Under Grad courses.?
I heard that next semester there is going to be a selfdefense course called: "Your safty and what a concrete frog can do to help Pt I" The profs name is S. Squirrels.
The Follow up is "Concrete Frogs and The Asian art of Croakito Pt II"

I have already signed up for both of these classes and used my HT discount! :thumbsup:
 

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OK... being a single man.
Laundry is easy, its a one step thing. Toss in clothes and add detergent. No need to segregate. Be careful of shop rags, I turned my Fest shirt pink. But they do make bleach! After several washes, well its still a little... it matched my socks!

The stove/oven... Not a problem! Well, it is digital. OK, I cant figure it out. I learned one thing about cooking, it makes dirty dishes! So us MEN use paper plates. Or pizza boxes. The microwave was invented for a reason you know!!!

Real MEN dont get lost! Sometimes temporarily displaced, but that dont count.

Urinating or missing the bowl? Just step out in the back yard. Its ours! The cat does it.

I like being single... I never said I was good at it.
 

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I've been single too long...

Cooking? What's that? I don't use the microwave or the stove at all. I just eat out- no fuss, no muss. I don't have to go to the store, waste time shopping for things that then need additional time to prepare, etc. I don't have to wash dishes because I don't have dirty dishes to wash.

On the plus side I am the person to come to when you want to know where to eat in my area. And my co-workers know it- I am forever getting asked where I'm going to dinner, and if I can bring food back. :thumbsup:

What's an ice cube tray? Drinks that should be cold are already in the fridge... getting cold. Ice melts into water. Water, well, waters down my drink.

Asking for directions. This does not come in handy. I have asked for directions many times, and 90% of the time the "helpful" people only get me lost further. Good example- years ago I was on a date (yeah, it's been awhile) and took a girl to a mall up in Reading. Well, she lived between Lebanon and Reading, off the main road. Well, since the backroad was parallel to the main road I figured I could get to work (at the time, Wal*Mart) the back way and get there in plenty of time, without wasting the time to get back to the main road (422). HA! HA HA HA HA! Such logical thinking. I asked multiple people for directions and kept going around in circles. Eventually I flagged down a park ranger and asked him to lead the way (he obliged). I only got to work half an hour late. :eek:
 

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Discussion Starter #18
I kinda can't blame you Sean.If I was single and no kids,I would probably go out to eat a lot,even if just for the company around me
 

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GO-GTO said:
Shouldn't there have been another course on ground rules for who always wins arguments or your sleeping on the couch until you come to your senses?
It will be taught as a section of a class called "You Can't Win! Resistance Is Futile!"
I've viewed the instruction guide, there is a particularly useful sub-chapter called;"Lost in Translation- What she says/What she means!

Among the invaluable overall knowledge contained herein are the following ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL gems of CRUCIAL information;

When she says; She means;
Can you do me a favor? Do it!
When you get a chance (or when you have time) Do it NOW!
Do you think you could...... Do it RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We'll talk about it later. No
Do you think that's a good idea? No
Um....... NO!

It also carefully explains that YOU WILL NEVER WIN AN ARGUMENT!!!!!!! No matter what you think, if you are ever given the impression you may have won, immeadiatly re-evaluate. It is EXTREMELY unlikely, however, in the incredibly rare event that you should win an arguement ( a man allegedly won a dispute over car keys in 1968) relish this small victory quietly (it will be small).
To gloat is to invite a wrath so terrible that even GOD couldn't imagine it.
 

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A few years ago when I was with someone else, we went plant shopping at a local nursery. We were looking at hanging baskets, and there was a much older couple beside us. Ann asked me "which of these two do you like better?", a loaded queestion, as any man can tell you. I couldn't pass up the bait, and said "I like that one". "That one????" she says, "what the hell do you know?!"..... without missing a beat I answered "well, I think you're beautiful don't I ???".

She smiled, holding back a laugh as the older man said "that was a good one, son!"....

Women.
 
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