I am entering my seaview into a competition this w/end so I thought I would print out a little narrative to put on show with it...

Yes it sounds corny but hey what ever sells a newspaper :p:lol:

The premise behind my display diorama is as follows.

January 14th 1972 whilst performing research along the sea floor in the North West pacific, the Nelson Institute of Marine Research ship the Trident 3 became aware of a deep low building fast and realizing that they were about to be caught in a severe tropical storm as its bathysphere was still at least a hundred fathoms below the surface investigating a dense forest of giant sea weed. The captain immediately ordered that the sphere be brought back to the surface.

However as the sphere neared the surface and the open launch bay in the keel of the Trident it was buffeted by increasing under sea cross currents due to the approaching storm front. Then as it was almost raised to its mother ships birth it was wrenched violently from a sudden and stronger cross current. For reasons yet to be determined under investigation the cable and linkages sheared causing damage to the Tridents winch drum and bay doors when the diving bell slammed against them just as the cable snapped.

Now severed from its mother’s umbilical cord the sphere and its crew of two fell helplessly to the ocean sea bed. There trapped in the mud and near the edge of a deep sea canyon it came to rest. Within minutes of the diving bells separation the mayday is put out and again with in minutes it is answered by Admiral Nelson and the crew of the SSRN Seaview.

As with all deep sea research vessels the diving bell is fitted with emergency safety hardware that prevent the precious atmosphere within to leak out allowing the cold depths to flood in its place. But even with these, there is only so much time before co2 scrubbers become inefficient as oxygen and battery power fail…

On arriving at the scene the Admiral and his crew realizes the danger of the situation as he himself was once trapped in the Seaviews own Diving Bell with himself running out of time...

Wasting no time they launch the mini sub to investigate the situation and provide the Seaview with a realistic situation report. The Seaviews chief engineer volunteers to go out in the flying sub in an attempt, via its grappling claws to snatch the cable and lift the sphere back to the sea floor below the Seaviews main launch bay so that they can attach an emergency winch cable and lift the stricken vessel and suffocating crew into the Seaview.

And as all good dramas go... The stricken sphere was raised and birthed within the Seaview with only minutes of life left to the rescued men. Once again the inimitable and courageous crew of the Nelsons Institute of Marine Research flagship saves the day.

:wave:

I am entering my seaview into a competition this w/end so I thought I would print out a little narrative to put on show with it...

Yes it sounds corny but hey what ever sells a newspaper :p:lol: Not corny at all. Every diorama deserves a good backstory to explain what's supposed to be happening.

Just a suggestion -- you might want to have a professional proofreader check that copy before using it with your display. It's "berth," not "birth." And there's an abrupt change from past to present tense in the third paragraph.

So . . . When do we see pictures?

Not corny at all. Every diorama deserves a good backstory to explain what's supposed to be happening.

Just a suggestion -- you might want to have a professional proofreader check that copy before using it with your display. It's "berth," not "birth." And there's an abrupt change from past to present tense in the third paragraph.

So . . . When do we see pictures?

Thanks for tips :thumbsup:

Spelling and grammer were never my strong suits :freak:and there's only so much spell check can do to help...:p

I am entering my seaview into a competition this w/end so I thought I would print out a little narrative to put on show with it...

Yes it sounds corny but hey what ever sells a newspaper :p:lol:

The premise behind my display diorama is as follows.

On January 14th 1972 while performing research along the sea floor in the Northwest Pacific, the Nelson Institute of Marine Research ship, Trident 3, became aware of a deep low pressure system building fast in thier vacinity. With the Tiridents bathysphere still at least a hundred fathoms below the surface investigating a dense forest of giant sea weed, the crew of the Trident 3 realized that they were about to be caught in a severe tropical storm. The captain immediately ordered that the bathysphere be brought back to the surface.

However, as the bathysphere neared the surface and the open launch bay in the keel of the Trident it was buffeted by increasing under sea cross currents due to the approaching storm front. As the bathysphere was almost raised to its mother ships berth, it was wrenched violently from a sudden strong cross current. For reasons yet to be determined, and still under investigation, the cable and linkages sheared causing damage to the Tridents winch drum and bay doors when the diving bell slammed against them just as the cable snapped.

Now severed from its mother’s umbilical cord the bathysphere and its crew of two fell helplessly to the ocean sea bed. There, trapped in the mud and near the edge of a deep sea canyon it came to rest. Within minutes of the diving bells separation the mayday is put out and again within minutes it is answered by Admiral Nelson and the crew of the SSRN Seaview.

As with all deep sea research vessels the diving bell is fitted with emergency safety valves that prevent the precious atmosphere within to leak out allowing the cold depths of the sea to flood in. But even with these safety features, there is only so much time before CO2 Scrubbers become inefficient as oxygen and battery power fail.

On arriving at the scene, Admiral Nelson and the crew of the Seaview realize the danger of the situation as he himself was once trapped in the Seaviews own Diving Bell with himself running out of time.

Wasting no time Admiral Nelson orders the launch of the mini-sub to investigate the situation and provide the Seaview with a realistic situation report. The Seaviews chief engineer volunteers to go out in the Flying Sub in an attempt, via its grappling claws to snatch the cable and lift the Tridents bathysphere back to the sea floor below the Seaviews main launch bay so that they can attach an emergency winch cable and lift the stricken vessel and suffocating crew into the Seaview.

As with all good dramas, the stricken bathysphere was raised and berthed within the Seaview with only minutes of life left to the rescued men. Once again the inimitable and courageous crew of the SSRN Seaview, flagship of the Nelson Institute of Marine Research, saves the day.

:wave:

AJ

I hope you don't mind, but I edited your presentation ... I edit my sons English papers and I'm happy to say that, even though he gives me dirty looks occasionally, his papers always come home with an "A" on them ...

Good Luck with the comp!!!

Dan

P.S.

I sincerely hope you bring home a Blue Ribbon or First Prize or the equivelant.

Dan

I hope you don't mind, but I edited your presentation ... I edit my sons English papers and I'm happy to say that, even though he gives me dirty looks occasionally, his papers always come home with an "A" on them ...Pretty good editing job. You just missed a few possessive apostrophes and a few commas to separate clauses. The use of the past tense should be consistent. And, of course, the names of vessels should be italicized.

Just a quick polish:
______________________________________

On January 14th, 1972, while performing research along the sea floor in the Northwest Pacific, the Nelson Institute of Marine Research ship Trident 3 became aware of a deep low-pressure system building fast in their vicinity. With the Trident’s bathysphere still at least a hundred fathoms below the surface investigating a dense forest of giant seaweed, the crew of the Trident 3 realized that they were about to be caught in a severe tropical storm. The captain immediately ordered that the bathysphere be brought back to the surface.

However, as the bathysphere neared the surface and the open launch bay in the keel of the Trident, it was buffeted by increasing undersea cross-currents due to the approaching storm front. As the bathysphere was almost raised to its mother ship’s berth, it was wrenched violently by a sudden strong cross-current. For reasons yet to be determined and still under investigation, the cable and linkages sheared, causing damage to the Trident’s winch drum and bay doors when the diving bell slammed against them just as the cable snapped.

Now severed from its mother’s umbilical cord, the bathysphere and its crew of two fell helplessly to the sea bed. There, trapped in the mud and near the edge of a deep-sea canyon, it came to rest. Within minutes of the diving bell’s separation, a mayday was put out and again within minutes, it was answered by Admiral Nelson and the crew of the SSRN Seaview.

As with all deep-sea research vessels, the diving bell was fitted with emergency safety valves that prevent the precious atmosphere within to leak out allowing the cold depths of the sea to flood in. But even with these safety features, there is only so much time before CO2 scrubbers become inefficient as oxygen and battery power fail.

On arriving at the scene, Admiral Nelson and the crew of the Seaview realized the danger of the situation as he himself had once been trapped in the Seaview’s own Diving Bell with himself running out of time...

Wasting no time, Admiral Nelson ordered the launch of the mini-sub to investigate the situation and provide the Seaview with a realistic situation report. The Seaview’s chief engineer volunteered to go out in the Flying Sub in an attempt, via its grappling claws, to snatch the cable and lift the Trident’s bathysphere back to the sea floor below the Seaview’s main launch bay so that they could attach an emergency winch cable and lift the stricken vessel and suffocating crew into the Seaview.

As with all good dramas, the stricken bathysphere was raised and berthed within the Seaview with only minutes of life left to the rescued men. Once again, the inimitable and courageous crew of the SSRN Seaview, flagship of the Nelson Institute of Marine Research, saves the day.

____________________________________

I hope AJ-1701 isn't offended by all this attention to the fine points of English spelling, grammar and punctuation -- we just want the contest judges to have a good impression!

One nitpick: If the accident happened in 1972, do they know by now what caused it? Or is it STILL under investigation?

Thank you gentle men... :thumbsup:

No offense taken. :thumbsup:You have only to look at a lot of my posts and you'll realise the written form of the english language is difficult for me. ;):p I wrote it very late last night and tried to base the text as if it was a currentn event based on the time/era of the show... Made in the 60's with a story line based in the 70's. With my narrative written in the new millenium based on the past as a current event...:freak: :drunk:

Scotpens,

You're right ... I should have scrubbed the presentation through MS Word for grammer and spelling ... it's not perfect, but it works well enough ...

Dan

Thank you gentle men... :thumbsup:

No offense taken. :thumbsup:You have only to look at a lot of my posts and you'll realise the written form of the english language is difficult for me. ;):p I wrote it very late last night and tried to base the text as if it was a currentn event based on the time/era of the show... Made in the 60's with a story line based in the 70's. With my narrative written in the new millenium based on the past as a current event...:freak: :drunk:

AJ,

The only reason I was able to ace my english and composition classes in college was due to a word processor and a Commodore 64 ... I now have a Dell Inspiron and MS Word; which is comparing a dinosaur to the space shuttle ... :cool:

P.S.

I sincerely hope you bring home a Blue Ribbon or First Prize or the equivelant.

Dan

Thanks Dan.:)

I got a bronze :woohoo: which I don't consider to be a bad thing when I had a good look at what gold n silver. Maybe if I'd stuck with my origional thoughts on hand making the giant ses weed instead of the shortcut of platic aquarium plants... :confused: But I didn't build it to win prizes I built it cause I wanted to do it and I like building models.:) And besides it got eyeballed by well over a 1000 pair of eyes during the last 2 days and its in a few cameras as well so thats better than a gold to me :thumbsup:

P.S I don't even think they even read my story line :p ;)

Hey ... Bronze is nothing to sneeze at!!

Besides, it's the joy of building and being able to enjoy your own creation that counts. I've never entered a model compitition. It's not that I wouldn't want to ... but ... I don't know ... I guess I never really thought about it.

I build models as a way to relax and let the world slip by for a few hours ... of course as I've gotten older, I've become a lot more selective about what I build.

Right now I'm building the "AMTronic" for my 10-year-old son and he's having fun watching me do my thing.

Bronze is very respectable, you placed...that's smashing in my book. Most importantly you got the most enjoyment from a job well done and showed off your handi-work, to the adoring eyes of all who passed by. Remember the lady hasn't been seen in a very long time, and you helped her resurface and sail proudly into history...that my friend is what's known as a legacy!

Thanks guys. :)

It was a good high seeing people look at my builds especially the seaview. I even had one bloke ask if it was a resin kit??? Then when I told him it was the moebius kit his eyes poped and he said he had one on layby but didn't realize how big it was. :p I mean c'mon, we've been metric her since 1972 half way thru my school years and he looked a bit older than me. However when I think back to the moment I opend my kit and test fitted the hull pieces together my eyes poped too :lol: Oh how easily we forget :p and at least two others said they would be looking for the kit now. So yeah job well done me thinks.

But I guess the prize is nadda with out saying thanks to frank and the crew and my very patient wife as we had only been married for 6 weeks when she lost me to the old girl of my dreams... ;)

Congrats on your placings mate!! :thumbsup: It was fantastic seeing your models in person and you should be proud. They're great! It was great meeting you and your lovely wife too.
Folks, you should see the job on these kits. Not only are the models very well built, the bases really look excellent and add a lot to the environment around them. Imagination and innovation are important in sci-fi modelling, and AJ has both in copious quantities!!

Chris.

Congrats on your placings mate!! :thumbsup: It was fantastic seeing your models in person and you should be proud. They're great! It was great meeting you and your lovely wife too.
Folks, you should see the job on these kits. Not only are the models very well built, the bases really look excellent and add a lot to the environment around them. Imagination and innovation are important in sci-fi modelling, and AJ has both in copious quantities!!

Chris.

:o Thanks mate. It was a pleasure to meet you as well. :) It's good to put a face to a name/post :p And congrats also on your gold. Nice job.:thumbsup: