In Honor of Stupid People . . .
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed
through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on
consumer goods.


On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase
necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's just a suggestion.)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn
upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after
heating."
(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or
operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if
we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those
bulldozers.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use
only."
(as opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other
use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open
packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: say what?)

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not
enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your
hands or genitals."
(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

James :)

Yep! The human race IS doomed.

thanks James . that's the best laughs i've had since last tuesday . much needed !! :p
hb

I saw a broom with instructions attached. "oh the WIDE end goes down!"

Curling irons that say "Do not use in the Shower"
Preperation H "Do not take Orally"

Classic. People really are that stupid.

j

"Caution, bullet comes out this end."

You'd think guns would be the last thing that requires a warning label - people should kinda aughta know without being told.

Preperation H "Do not take Orally"

Dear Preparation H,

I have been using your product for 2 months and my hemorrhoids are still extremely painful. But my mouth is so small...

Dear Preparation H,

I have been using your product for 2 months and my hemorrhoids are still extremely painful. But my mouth is so small...


Laugh all you want, but I just read an article that people are using the stuff around their eyes to reduce puffiness. So, some people do really need to be told everything.

I'm still wondering who gave the kid cough medicine and then put him/her behind the wheel of his/her Power wheels! And do they have to take a sobriety test if they get pulled over? :freak:

Laugh all you want, but I just read an article that people are using the stuff around their eyes to reduce puffiness. So, some people do really need to be told everything.


Movie stars, etc have been doing that for years!

Laugh all you want, but I just read an article that people are using the stuff around their eyes to reduce puffiness. So, some people do really need to be told everything.

Why warn them at all? If you are so dimwitted that you need a label to tell you how to use shampoo, that cigarettes are bad for you, or which orifice Preperation H goes into, we no longer need your contribution to the gene pool.

I say let's have less warning labels, and let Darwinism do it's job. We got too many people as it is.

:lol: Why warn them at all? If you are so dimwitted that you need a label to tell you how to use shampoo, that cigarettes are bad for you, or which orifice Preperation H goes into, we no longer need your contribution to the gene pool.

I say let's have less warning labels, and let Darwinism do it's job. We got too many people as it is.:lol:

Fun dayn moyl in Gots oyern! I say it's time to start thinning the herd!

If folks are smart enough to read the lable, they're smart enough to know the proper operating procedures of these products.
(Sigh).
Just another method for companies to avoid expensive lawsuits caused by their customers own carelessness/ignorance/misuse/mishandling/etc.
And yes, McDonalds coffee is hot.

I recently bought a halogen desk lamp to use for modeling. There weer eight - count 'em, eight - warning labels taped along the length of the power cord!

...On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping...
I know folks can do many things while asleep. Can they read, and can they tell whether they are asleep?

An ad on the subway in NYC: "Learn to read and speak English. Call us now."

Illiterate? Write us for help.

Seeing eye dogs only. Can they read?

Funny, stupid people have to be told- "Here's your sign" :D

Noticed this one on my ol' nikon monocular when I took my boy out to look at the moon last night:

"Warning:Please don't look at the sun absolutely. If you look at the sun, your eyes may be ache and blind sometimes."

Now here is a dumb one. It goes something like:

"One day only sale, Frday, Saturday, and Sunday!!!"

saw it one a calender at the mall or something.

Here's a frighteningly true story...

I had a limo company for 11 years through the '90s and a lot of our contract passengers were executives for J&J, Pharmacia, Upjohn, etc. IIRC, this was back around '98 or '99.

I had a passenger who was part of the Johnson & Johnson legal department and enroute to Newark Airport, he related this story (which hit the papers several days later).

A pennsylvania woman had purchased a tube of their contraceptive jelly. One evening shortly after, she and her boyfriend were about to get intimate. She interupted the proceedings to go into the kitchen, make some toast, spread the contraceptive jelly on it and ATE it. Long story short, she ended up pregnant (Well, DUH! :rolleyes: ).

Sadly, the story gets better. This moron decides to sue J&J. During the trial, on cross examination by the defense, she was asked, "Did you read the directions?" Her response was "Who has time for that when you're in the throws of passion?" to which the judge astutely observed, "Well, you had time to make toast..." (:lol: Loved THAT one!).

The upshot was that the jury found in her favor and awarded her $250,000 on the basis that while the box and the instructions were clearly labeled NOT TO BE TAKEN ORALLY, the warning was not printed in a contrasting color (such as red) and therefore Johnson & Johnson were liable for her mistake.

I STILL don't know which is scarier...HER stupidity or the jury buying that hogwash. I don't think we're gonna have to wait for another ice age or a comet to wipe us out. We'll do it ourselves....

I've heard several versions of that "eating contraceptive jelly" story. I always assumed it was an urban myth — can people really be THAT dumb? — but in this case, I'll take your word that it actually happened!Now here is a dumb one. It goes something like:

"One day only sale, Frday, Saturday, and Sunday!!!"

saw it one a calender at the mall or something.Actually that's not a sign for stupid people — it's just a stupid sign!

...A pennsylvania woman...(made) some toast, spread...contraceptive jelly on it and ATE it...
I'd hate to think what she'd do with Naval Jelly. :drunk:

When I was a teenager I worked in a carwash after school. A cop drove in and I told him to shut off his engine. He said "I can't. It locks the steering." I told him there were no turns going thru the wash, and laughed.
Another guy came, gave me his ticket, and then gunned it. His car ended up sideways halfway thru the machinery.
Quite a few guys with station wagons left the back window open, and no matter how much I yelled at them they never looked.
Quite a few also put it in park and stepped on the brake, and then complained that their car wasn't moving.
At the gas pumps some gas was spilled, and the next customer threw his cigarette into the 'water'. The full service guy became the human torch. He lived but we never saw him again.

I have received a box of cashews with the label 'may contain nuts or nut products'. I can't blame the manufacturer, with the litiginous society we live in. I was gonna mention the MacDonald's coffee incident, but got beat to it. In Canada a woman was hit and paralysed by a drunk driver. Did she sue the driver (uninsured)? No, she and the drunk sued the bar in a class action suit and won.

I have received a box of cashews with the label 'may contain nuts or nut products'. I can't blame the manufacturer, with the litiginous society we live in. I was gonna mention the MacDonald's coffee incident, but got beat to it. In Canada a woman was hit and paralysed by a drunk driver. Did she sue the driver (uninsured)? No, she and the drunk sued the bar in a class action suit and won.

It was probably the lawyer's decision to talk her into sueing the bar. That's where the money is. You can always bank on the lawyer going after the most money, not helping to serve justice to the offender.