2nd grade teacher to me;

Robby?!...Isn't that a little girls name?

.....it's been ROB,ever since.


I still have relatives who call me Robbie... and I can tell who I met early on in my surveying career as the early ones call me Robbie also

Bob: "I knew a guy who had one of those jetski things. What are they called, SkiDoo, SkiRoo...?"
Me: "Oh, you mean SeaDoo."
Bob: YEAH! That's it! - but it was a Polaris

I get similar things with my red Dart convertible now. Something about that car just compels people to share, no matter how dumb it is.

"My (fill in name of deceased relative here) had one of those! Except it was brown. And a six-cylinder. And a four-door. And a Chevy."

jk

Is Robbie your birth name?

My Dad, Robert,didn't want a "junior "

My mom says she named me after the oldest, on my three sons

the older I get,the less wussy,"Robby" sounds.:freak:

so I'm standing there pouring a bit of Half & Half in my brew when this fat heifer looks at me with disgust and says "Do you really think you need that ?!!!"........

It could be that she was vegan and was objecting to the notion of it being milk more than being fattening, but who knows. I know plenty of chunky vegetarians.

On a similar note, I was relaxing in the airline terminal, at my gate, with my carry-on luggage and a chili dog. The woman across from me was so disturbed by the site of my dinner that she had to get up and leave, but not before making all sorts of faces and very obviously trying to not look at me. I love people like that. They're fun to torture.

jk

"I love people like that. They're fun to torture."




did you run your tongue up the length of the chili-dog,then openly squish the chili between your teeth,followed by blowing a bean through your nose at her??

Is Robbie your birth name?

My Dad, Robert,didn't want a "junior "

My mom says she named me after the oldest, on my three sons

the older I get,the less wussy,"Robby" sounds.:freak:


Nope, Robert.. named after my godfather. The entire side of my mom's family calls me Robbie and they didn't even know my godfather. To this day at all weddings and funerals I am Robbie. My son is a jr. He is called Robby.... a friend in High School was a Robby - full name - chicks dug it.

did you run your tongue up the length of the chili-dog,then openly squish the chili between your teeth,followed by blowing a bean through your nose at her??

Folks, this man is beyond help..... :drunk: :lol:

Here's one (of MANY) from a retired co-worker. This guy had just returned from a few days off to mourn his father, who had passed away after suffering a heart attack. Now I know I shouldn't find pleasure in someone else's grief, but when this guy came back to the shop and told everyone that his dad died because his Ore Ida had burst, well I just had to go off somewhere else so I wouldn't laugh in his face. To this day I can still see the headline in the paper: Man Dies when Tater Tot explodes in his mouth.

:lol:

I love it when the store cashier asks "Did you find everything alright?" and I respond with; "Such as the undying everlasting love of a good woman?, a million dollars tax free?, the meaning of life!? ....

... and their jaw goes slack because they were never told on what to do if anyone really answers...

One last line and I'll stop. This one kinda worked out though.

Met a gal on a trip to LegoLand (yes, the amusement park) and she was tickled to hear that I was a writer for HOT ROD magazine at that time. So she asks a question that I've been asked a million times: if you could have anything, what would it be? She's expecting an answer like Corvette, Firebird, Mustang, GTO.

So what do I tell her?

"World peace."

After all, she didn't limit me to choosing a car ... and she bought it! About two years later, the darned fool MARRIED me!

jk

did you run your tongue up the length of the chili-dog,then openly squish the chili between your teeth,followed by blowing a bean through your nose at her??

Ha! No, nothing nearly in such questionable taste. Which is unusual for me, granted. Just ate it.

Well, after she was visibly uncomfortable, I may have made little yum-yum groans for effect ...

jk

To this day I can still see the headline in the paper: Man Dies when Tater Tot explodes in his mouth.

:lol:

It's a good thing I wasn't eating or drinking anything when I read this.....
Thanks... :lol:

By the way three of my children are adopted, Cocoa, Dixie and Muffy and 99.9% of the time I enjoy them more than my two natural children. It's a fact.
Do Cocoa, Dixie and Muffy have a "Magic Genie Light?" An inquiring mind wants to know......

I'm sure we've all been there, but I still get a laugh out of every time someone asks me where something is in the store I happen to be in at the time.

Just because I am there, doesn't mean I work there, does it?
I was once in the diecast asile at walmart on my lunch break wearing my GM Goodwrench Plus uniform when an elderly lady comes up and asks me about pricing on some toy 3 asiles over. I said "I'm sorry mam' but I dont work here, but I'm sure if you ask one of those people in the blue smocks with the walmart label on it they could tell you." :drunk:

ROFLMAO. :lol: :roll: :D This has got to be the funniest thread since the Woodchuck thread.

Few years ago, met one of my fellow salesmen buddies at a Starbucks for a coffee. Now, I'm far from the slimmest guy you'll ever meet, but I'm a long way from obese ....... so I'm standing there pouring a bit of Half & Half in my brew when this fat heifer looks at me with disgust and says "Do you really think you need that ?!!!"........

I was momentarily stunned that someone would actually say that, let alone someone who was in no better shape than I, but I quickly recovered and said" "I don't know, why don't you put down that brownie and we can talk about it!".

My buddy damn near wet his pants laughing at that.
I'd have spit my coffee three tables over laughing. :lol:

ROFLMAO. :lol: :roll: :D This has got to be the funniest thread since the Woodchuck thread.

You remembered that one, did you??? :lol:

I believe that was also the thread which debuted "Farnsworth".... :eek: :drunk:

http://www.hobbytalk.com/bbs1/showthread.php?t=113020&highlight=woodchuck

Here's one I almost forgot about. I was paying for an purchase that came to $5.01. I handed the cashier a $20 and as I was fishing around in my pocket for a penny, she keyed $20.00 into her register and pressed enter. I found that elusive penny and handed it to her. She looked at the penny, looked at her screen that said "change $14.99" and looked at me and said: "Great. Now what am I supposed to do?"

I did not make this up. My son who was 7 or 8 at the time was able to help her out.

This happened about 7 years ago. I was working for a large telecomm company whose product was based on Unix (Sun's Solaris to be specific). The method for software distribution is called "packaging" or "packages"; kind of like the Install Wizard stuff you find on Windows.

Anyways, I'm in charge of making these packages and we're having a meeting on a new release and all kinds of comments are being made on "Jim's package": its too big, it won't fit, what will the customer reaction be, etc. Half the people in the room are one snicker away from busting out laughing, while the other half are completely mortified. One woman who didn't understand leans over to me and whispers "Is your p***s really that impressive?" I spit out my Diet Coke.

Why doesn't stuff like this happen when you're single? :(

You remembered that one, did you??? :lol:

I believe that was also the thread which debuted "Farnsworth".... :eek: :drunk:

http://www.hobbytalk.com/bbs1/showthread.php?t=113020&highlight=woodchuck
Classic Carnut.
Hi Rich. :wave:

To this day, I get asked by clowns if I'm related to the German singer 'Falco' who did the 80's song Amadeus. And of course, they have to start singing the chorus........

Joe
www.joesdiecasthack.com (http://www.joesdiecasthack.com)

To this day, I get asked by clowns if I'm related to the German singer 'Falco' who did the 80's song Amadeus. And of course, they have to start singing the chorus........

Joe
www.joesdiecasthack.com (http://www.joesdiecasthack.com)

Here,I'll change it up for you.....

....heyyy Joe,where ya goin with that gun in your hand...

Here,I'll change it up for you.....

....heyyy Joe,where ya goin with that gun in your hand...

Yeah, that too, LOL

Joe

I work for the phone company and we're 35 000 employees. And there's always that one person that says: "Oh you work for Bell, do you know that person? She worked until that year."
These are some of the answers I gave:
- Sorry, I wasn't born yet! (I really said it!)
- Sorry, we're 5 000 just in this city, there's still a few people I haven't met.
- Sorry I never worked in that city (which is 6 hours from where I work/live)

Or they say: "you get free phone/DSL/cell/satellite!! You're so lucky! " Like no way! Don't get anything free!

To Jeff Koch and Mark Hoosaflook, try to say this name: Gonthier. This is my second name, it's french and even french people can't say it properly....

I love it when someone wishing me well simply says "You have a good one!" - and I ask them if my wife's been bragging again... :thumbsup:

In the new age of computer networking back in college... I had a buddy of mine yell across the computer lab:

"Mike, do you mind if I mount your hard drive?"

I honestly didn't know what to say. :rolleyes:

Standing in line at a McDonalds, trying to make up my mind about what to eat. (I'm not a fashion model, by the way.) A woman with a 5- or 6-Y.O. appendage walks up beside me. I look over, and the kid says to me, "Why are you so fat?"
Mom looks like she doesn't know whether to shrivel up and die or bust out laughing. I say to the kid, "Why are you so short?"
Mom drags kid out of the restaurant.

...

Cashiers always ask, "How did you find everything?" My usual answer: "Overpriced."

...

Waitress: "My name is Anna if you need anything."
Me: "What is it if I don't...?"

...

One of my friend's last name is spelled M-i-c-h-e-l. I've known two people with this last name. One pronounced it "Michael." My friend pronounces his "Michelle." He goes into a restaurant and has to wait for a table. The waitress asks for his name. "Michel," says he.
She looks at him and says, "Is that your first name?"

...

Try having the last name "Trangenstein" as another of my friends does. He always has to spell it, but usually finishes with "It's like Frankenstein with a T."

...

One last one and I'll quit for the night. Someone asked me to open a new bottle of pickles for them, so I did. "You have a strong grip," she'd commented.

"Yeah, well, if you ever need someone with a strong grip you ask a single guy. You know." She almost dropped the pickles from laughing so hard.

-PC :D

Here's one I received from a seller after I won the auction the day prior and asked when the would ship out..Since I checked the feedback out, the seller has a habit of not shipping items out,if they think it sells too low,so i write asking for tracking,etc.
Please note,that I have used Paypal for years and my address has always been the same.I always check it before I send payment just i case( force of habit). go figure this one out......

"We have your shipping address as **** ****** *** . Allentown, AL 18103. However, the zip code comes up as Allentown, PA(Pennsylvania). Please advise so we can get your new seat shipped to you.

Thank you,
Carrie
Quik Drop "

Last names are always good, my wifes madien name is Thenikl - nobody gets that one.

My wife also works in the hospital - she answers a lot of phones and gets - "Can I talk to my dad". She finally stopped asking who is your dad, and sits in silence until they figure it out.

OK, This one happened just since this thread started!

I was standing at the customer "city" counter of a local welding supply shop when this fellow came walking up to the counter and says....

Customer- "Hey buddy, do you have xyz welding rods?"

Salesman - "Yep."

Customer - "How much per pound?"

Salesman - "$ 4.75"

Customer - "4.75??? Crap, I can buy them at the supply house down the
street for just $3.50 a pound!"

Salesman - "Well, then go over there and buy them."

Customer - "I tried, but they were out of stock."

Salesman - " Well my friend, it sounds like this is your lucky day! Cause I am
gonna set you straight on thier pricing. It sounds like they were
trying to rip you off! Cause' when I am OUT of stock, I only
charge $1.75 a pound!"


I laughed for the next hour! Not one single guy cracked a smile during this whole time! The guy just reached into his wallet and pulled out his money without a word! :p

One incident that will always be stuck in my mind...

I was driving home one night after work and as I was passing through a small town with a speed limit of 35MPH and doing about 50, out of nowhere comes a police officer with his lights a blazing. Of course I pull over and he rolls up behind me. First question he asks is if I know what the speed limit is. I tell him 35. Then he asks if I knew how fast I was going. Well, not wanting to give him an exact number that he could use against me, I said, "Too fast". Now here is the comment that he made that just bugs me, "Yeah, I had to do 85 just to catch up to you." Now, after the fact, there are a few comebacks that I could have used...

"Well, that was not very safe, maybe you should write yourself a ticket." or

"Well, if you would have gone 95, think how much sooner you would have caught up to me."

But I kept quiet, told him I was late for dinner and he let me go on my way.

Clark :D