PhilipMarlowe
03-31-2005, 09:59 AM
After a trip to our local used DVD store, I can verify the spirit of Ed Wood is alive and kicking these days.
I found a little gem on the sale rack called "the Life:Unrated Director's Cut", the cover features Denise Richards and Darryl Hannah in bed together, and lurid blurbs promising to reveal the "shocking" inside world of prostitution.
Now we all know that there are a ton of bad movies coming out on DVD everyday, but only once in a blue moon does anything this sublimely bad show up on disc. First of all, it has the most blatently dishonest cover I've seen since the glory days of rental VHS. Top billed Richards, Hannah, and character vet Joaquim de Aimeida are in the film for about 15 minutes,and despite Richards holding a sign promoting it's unrated status, neither she nor Hannah ever get naked. In the best Ed Wood fashion, they took what looks like a unfinished theatrical or TV film and edited it together with a really snarky European documentary on the sex industry. Richards is almost as convincing as a "anthropology grad student" as she was as a nuclear physicist in that Bond flick, and Hannah doesn't even try as Denise's veteran actress/hooker neighbor, four hours worth of street cred from the "Kill Bill" movies disapears the second she opens her mouth.
Then the "film makers" must have taken their Hannah/Richards footage and the sleazy documentary, locked themselves in a editing booth with some hash, and cobbled the whole thing together using every MTV video effect they could afford (especially morphing, which gets real old after awhile) and set the whole thing to an industrial-techno soundtrack that would have been seemed dated in the eighties. Then they laid down some "profound" narration from Richards to tie the whole thing together.
I really think somebody channelled Wood for this one, bad movie lovers got to check it out! Featuring Wood trademarks like never explaining why Richards does her "interviews" in English in her living room, yet the subjects are in eurotrash discos and answer in French and Spanish! Non-sequitor scenes popping up suddenly, a long montage of pros talking about married customers cuts to a long scene of Denise checking her mail that advances the plot not-at-all! Lots of stock footage of the porn industry! And ending suddenly, as if the money ran out, or Charlie Sheen finally took a look at wifey's script.
If you really like bad movies, this is the best thing I've seen since "Showgirls".
I found a little gem on the sale rack called "the Life:Unrated Director's Cut", the cover features Denise Richards and Darryl Hannah in bed together, and lurid blurbs promising to reveal the "shocking" inside world of prostitution.
Now we all know that there are a ton of bad movies coming out on DVD everyday, but only once in a blue moon does anything this sublimely bad show up on disc. First of all, it has the most blatently dishonest cover I've seen since the glory days of rental VHS. Top billed Richards, Hannah, and character vet Joaquim de Aimeida are in the film for about 15 minutes,and despite Richards holding a sign promoting it's unrated status, neither she nor Hannah ever get naked. In the best Ed Wood fashion, they took what looks like a unfinished theatrical or TV film and edited it together with a really snarky European documentary on the sex industry. Richards is almost as convincing as a "anthropology grad student" as she was as a nuclear physicist in that Bond flick, and Hannah doesn't even try as Denise's veteran actress/hooker neighbor, four hours worth of street cred from the "Kill Bill" movies disapears the second she opens her mouth.
Then the "film makers" must have taken their Hannah/Richards footage and the sleazy documentary, locked themselves in a editing booth with some hash, and cobbled the whole thing together using every MTV video effect they could afford (especially morphing, which gets real old after awhile) and set the whole thing to an industrial-techno soundtrack that would have been seemed dated in the eighties. Then they laid down some "profound" narration from Richards to tie the whole thing together.
I really think somebody channelled Wood for this one, bad movie lovers got to check it out! Featuring Wood trademarks like never explaining why Richards does her "interviews" in English in her living room, yet the subjects are in eurotrash discos and answer in French and Spanish! Non-sequitor scenes popping up suddenly, a long montage of pros talking about married customers cuts to a long scene of Denise checking her mail that advances the plot not-at-all! Lots of stock footage of the porn industry! And ending suddenly, as if the money ran out, or Charlie Sheen finally took a look at wifey's script.
If you really like bad movies, this is the best thing I've seen since "Showgirls".